The End.

When I decided to study abroad, people would ask me, "Caroline, what do you want from your study abroad experience?" My answer, always, was a family. I wanted to have a family in Spain that would make it hard to leave, that I would talk to once I got home, and that I could bring my future family to meet in 10-15 years (hopefully earlier).

Throughout my whole life, family has always been the most important thing to me. Growing up, I used to go into my parents' room after dinner every night and tell them the dramas of pre-teen/teen life. They knew exactly what was going on in my life then, and I can proudly say they still know what's going on to this day. I knew from the beginning that leaving my family and home for four months would be very difficult for me. Four months may sound like nothing, but to someone who is a home body and whose mom is one of their best friends, this time away has felt like forever and nothing all at once. I feel like February was yesterday and like I've been here for years, all at once. Nevertheless, I knew that I needed to have the family here I envisioned when people asked me what I expected from Spain.

God gave me that in ten-fold. I could never in my wildest dreams expect what I walked away from study abroad with. Mamá Carmen is one of the most loving and caring people I have ever met. Although she never married or had kids, she was an amazing mom in every sense of the word. When I was in my bad place in the beginning, she understood why I needed time to sit at home and why I worried. She understood that I was a little different from the other kids, so she never pressed me when I didn't go out when my peers did. Carmen was everything I needed in a time when I didn't feel like I could go on. Returning every day to the place that has become home and to my host mom was my saving grace this semester. Knowing that I would get a kiss on the cheek and a hug every time I got home and every time I left let me know that love doesn't know language, and family doesn't have to mean blood.

Through Carmen, I also found family in my roommate who is forever understanding of my (almost) constant crying and will listen to me talk for ages because if you know me, you know I never shut up. God knew exactly what he was doing when he made us roommates, and I am forever grateful to Him and to her (you know who you are). I also have an aunt now through my host mom's sister, Paqui, which also gives me a cousin in her study abroad daughter. Paqui's children and grandchildren need to be added to the list of family too. Thanks to them, I have made roots in a place that seemed so foreign and cold to me for too long. Am I sad to leave them and the ties I've made behind? Of course. Today was a very hard day for me, and I know that it will probably hit me again in a week when I feel like I've finally settled in.

This next week will be very transitional for me. I've spent the past 4 months living a completely different lifestyle, and I have to go through reverse culture shock now. I am thankful though that I have a summer to rest at home and settle back into the pace of life. I've learned more about myself and life than I ever thought possible this past semester. The change that I feel has happened to me is one of my most exciting take-aways from study abroad. I hope my family and friends notice the changes too. Spain taught me that life doesn't always have to be work. You can have fun too and be successful. I've learned to slow down and soak up every moment because you never know when you will say goodbye to people or places. I also pray more now than I have in many years. God works in mysterious ways, and this semester I was shown just how good He can be. I am undeserving of all the good things that happened to me this semester, but He still gives and gives if you give him a little time each day. It's truly amazing.

I think this is it from me. Thank you to everyone who has read my blog. I appreciate every ounce of love and support I have been given. I hope you have laughed, cried, and smiled at my posts just like I did when I wrote them. My journey to Spain has been incredible, and four months ago, I would never have imagined myself at the place I'm at now. My life is blessed, and that's all I can say.

The end.

xoxo,
Caroline